Sermon: The Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost 2011
September 4, 2011
Text: Matthew 18:1-20
The feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys is part of American folk-lore now. It was just after the Civil War in the back country of West Virginia and Kentucky. There are several versions of how it started and according to one account, it may have all started over a pig. Between 1880 and 1891, the feud claimed more than a dozen members of the two families.
I’m glad to report that many generations later, the two clans have made peace. In 1979, the two families united for a special week's taping of the popular game show Family Feud, in which they played for a cash prize . . . and a pig which was kept on stage during the games.
Today's reading is about sin and forgiveness. Today, I am going to focus on verses 15-20. This passage is about life together in the Church. In verse 19, Jesus says when two or more of us agree together in His Name when we pray, He is present in our midst. This tells us that it pleases God when we gather together to worship. Matthew uses Greek word “sum-phoneo” for this being in agreement. It’s the word from which we get our English word symphony. The analogy of a symphony is a beautiful picture of the church. In an orchestra, there are many different kinds of instruments playing the same song. In the church of the Lord Jesus there are many different kinds of people, with diverse talents, but we work together to make beautiful music.
However, as fallen creatures, we do not always live in perfect harmony with each other, do we? Jesus knew that there would be conflicts among Christians, that’s why He gave us these steps to follow to bring about harmony.
Before we examine these steps, I need point out that these steps are for when another Christian has sinned against you personally, not sin in general. Jesus isn’t giving you permission to be the morality police and confront every sin you see someone commit. It is clear that these instructions are to apply when someone sins against you personally.
Furthermore, you don’t have to follow these steps if you have the ability to overlook the offense and simply forgive the person. This is not the same as ignoring it or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s the choice to turn the other cheek. You aren’t required to follow Matthew 18 in every single instance someone offends you. Jesus Himself is the perfect example for us. He was sinned against more than any of us and He simply forgave the offenses. On the cross, for instance, He simply prayed, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
However, these steps apply when the hurt is so deep that the offense can’t be overlooked. Sometimes a relationship is so damaged these steps must be followed. As we examine these steps, will you ask yourself if there is someone with whom you are no longer in tune? Is there anyone who comes to your mind who has hurt you, and the issue hasn’t been resolved? Here’s what you can do to get back in tune with them:
Step 1: Go to him or her privately. The goal here is not to scold them but to be reconciled with them. The reason many relationships are fractured is because people don’t follow this first simple step. Instead of going to that person and speaking to them privately, the offended party goes to a third party and complains or gossips about them. When you do that you have disrupted the whole process and you become the offender.
When you go to this brother or sister, approach them with humility and speak the truth in a loving way. In my experience, about 90% of relationship problems can be healed at this step. However, in some cases, the issue is not resolved, and Jesus tells us what to do next.
Step 2: Enlist others. Jesus said if your friend refuses to reconcile, you then take one or two other friends to help you. The goal isn’t to gang up on your friend. The third person is there as a witness and a mediator and to pray. This other person can help clarify the issues and keep emotions in check.
Again, the goal is not punishment or retaliation; the goal is to win your friend back. In my experience, the majority of relational problems can be solved in step one or step two. However, on rare occasions, the conflict is still not healed. That’s when Jesus said it’s time for the next step.
Step 3: Ask the church for help. If the person still won’t agree to reconciliation, Jesus said to share the need with the church. This step sounds very threatening to modern people. It sounds a little bit too close to the Spanish Inquisition or the Salem Witch Trials. Obviously, those things were not what Jesus intended, but we do have to deal with His words in this verse. He says, “tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
To understand this, we have to remember what the Church is supposed to be. The Church is a community of believers who are baptized into Christ and who live their lives in accordance with Christ’s teachings.
The fact is that hatred and bitterness have absolutely no place in Christ’s Church. If there is a person who refuses to be reconciled to another, someone who resists all invitations to make peace, after many patient and loving attempts, then that person has already separated himself from Christ and is, to us, the same as a pagan.
But Jesus still didn’t say you treat them with hostility. The goal is not punishment, but restoration. How did Jesus treat tax collectors and pagans? He loved them, and treated them as people who needed to come into a saving relationship with God.
Christians aren’t perfect people but it is still our goal to enjoy harmony and, as much as possible, to live in peace with everyone. St. Paul writes: “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought (1 Corinthians 1:10).”
Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace in the sense that He has made peace between sinful humanity and a holy and righteous God. We who sin daily have been reconciled to the Heavenly Father by the blood of Jesus Christ. And having received mercy from God, it is God’s intention that we should constantly show mercy to one another. The Church is the fellowship of the forgiven. The Church is also the fellowship of the forgiving. In Jesus’ Name.